13 weeks and all is well

How far along: 13 wks

Total weight change: None

Maternity clothes: My super sweet coworker brought me a couple of shirts that she had (she had an October baby too!) and I went and got 2 pairs of slacks, some shorts, and some shirts. Sugarbeet was nice enough to get me some new shoes too! I needed some heels to wear with my new slacks, but none of my black heels are properly broken in, meaning I needed to get some more "sensible" heels.  They are a 3in peep toe platform, über comfortable! I have no clothes I can wear comfortably without my band, and a few of my blouses are getting a little too tight.  All of my cotton/stretchy stuff is still fine.

Stretch Marks: No

Movement: I wish

Sleep: MUCH BETTER! I've been able to stay alseep much longer, and am finding that I don't go in the middle of the night as often. Getting to bust some zzz's is awesome!

Best Moment This Week: Getting more and more comfortable that this little one is here to stay.  God has tried and tried to get through my thick skull, but alas, I'm quite good at hitting the "ignore" button on his calls. I know that I was created for this very thing, but sometimes its hard to believe that I could be this blessed. While I haven't stuggled with infertility, I still find myself identifying with Sarah...except for the letting Sugarbeet sleep with someone else part..Lol.

Belly Button In or Out: In

Cravings/Aversions: Neither. I've been up for anything lately.

Symptoms: Still. back. pain. The girls still hate life too, but other than that I've been okay. OH, I almost forgot the best symptom of all, my linea negra has showed up!!!! I present the bottom half of my belly to any lady who will look so that I can proudly show my first exterior sign of our little one. SB loves it, he thinks its adorable, and I find it extremly reasuring. *hand cupped to one side of mouth: don't tell anyone, but sometimes I go to the restroom at work to look at it.* Also, I've had to go much more during the day, and of course when I get there I'm treated to the relief of tinkle tinkle tinkle...yeah a reeeal potty emergency here.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Continuing to grow and change

Things I Wish I Would Have Known: I knew everyone was going to have their opinion, but I wish I would have known that it was going to be impossible to avoid hearing it! I think that pregnancy should be don't ask, don't tell. Also, I wish my co-workers would stop being so conscerned with me getting fat.

Ugly

Pregnancy has made me UGLY. It seems the "glow" pregnancy fairy passed me up and had her lesser known, not as nice "ugly stick" fairy filled in for her.
My skin is covered in acne, and the ance leaves me a nice little reminder of its presence in the form of a scar.  My face is COVERED in dark spots from where the acne has left nasty discoloration on my skin. 
My skin is dry too. I had an entire half of the the outside part of my lips slough off in dry flaky madness. As for my lips themselves, they change skin everyday in big huge chunks, leaving enourmous cracks in them, despite large amounts of chapstick.

You wanna know what the worst part about it is? I love every second of it ; ).

Week 12!

How far along: 12 wks

Total weight change: None

Maternity clothes: I bought some stuff this week. Maternity clothes are not easy to shop for, everything is so hit or miss. Plus, the stuff that I'm drawn to immediatly is always a million dollars, no bueno. So yeah, I got a few pieces, and hopefully will continue to build up a wardrobe a little at a time. 

Stretch Marks: No

Movement: Whomp Whomp

Sleep: I dont know about this. I'm not sleeping through the night because of the allergies, but also because certain parts of my anatomy hurt and when I move it wakes me up. Also, I think I'm still going to the loo at night, but some nights I'm so out of it, I don't know if I did or didn't.

Best Moment This Week:  Being 12 weeks.  I'm so close to being out of the first tri I can feel it! Literally, I'm starting to feel more like myself again. I told my Grandparents and they were super excited.  My grandmother took 30 minutes to explain to me the proper foods to eat, and that a well fell baby en utero will equal a baby that eats well once it's born. I told work on Wed., everyone was nice and congradulated me, I even got a few hugs! I finally feel like I'm out!

Belly Button In or Out: In
Cravings/Aversions: Mexican food is out officially! I'm so over it and am back to a more normal human diet...well humans not from Mexico. I've gotten more of a sweet tooth, but the HUNGER (vampire style) is gone.
Symptoms: Still. back. pain. It still hurts to lay on my back, and it wakes me up at night when I roll over. ACK. I had a relapse on Friday where I felt super mcuber tired, had a headache, felt dizzy, and needed to eat a pizza (it was a magherita single serve pizza) at 11:00 at night. It went away the very next day, and I can honestly say that I do not miss those days!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Each and everyday that I am pregnant.

Things I Wish I Would Have Known: Hmmm, I guess that things could go so well without my intervention.

Knocked Up Week 10-11

Whoa dude, time is flying! Here's what was going on the past two weeks:

How far along: 10-11 wks

Total weight change: None

Maternity clothes: No, but my bella band is still my BFF.  I still have pants that I can fit and zip, but I don't want to strangle the poor baby.

Stretch Marks: No

Movement: Got to see a hiccup!-see below for details

Sleep: Getting better. I'm suffering from allergies for the first time, and can't breath at night.  I've tried a humidifier and Vick's, but all I really seem to be able to do is sit around miserable. I've woken up several times to find snot running out of my nose like a faucet. FUN!

Best Moment This Week: Getting to hear and see our Little One! Week 10 flew by because I spent the majority of that time anxious for out appointment with the Midwives on 03/28. I went to the mall the Sunday before the appointment, and spent some quiet time reflecting on everything. This appt was a big deal since 9 weeks is when all of the structures are in place for the baby, after that everything else is really just growth. With that being said, 9 weeks is the last time that most developmental abnormalities could cause a loss.  That's a big deal! I was 11w to the day when we went in, and I was ready to find out that the baby had made it past that 9w crucial phase just fine. 
          I was so nervous that my blood pressure was through the roof, they ended up checking it twice, but it didn't budge. The midwife came in, and asked some questions I don't remember because I was waiting to get to the part where she would whip out the doppler for us to hear the heartbeat.  FINALLY she gets it out, and lets us know that we may not hear it immediatly, and not to be conscerned if it takes her a little while to find it. Well, 3 MINUTES LATER (I know this becuase we recorded it), she gives up and calls for the ultrasound machine :(. Part of me was totally ok with this since I wanted to see the baby anyway. After she called for the machine, she said "Let's keep trying until it gets here", and of course the second she touches it to my belly, the hearbeat comes through loud and clear! She asks if we want the ultrasound still and I yell "Heck yes!", lol. We got to see LO...laying there...The heart was beating nice and strong but I guess s/he was sleep cause they were just chillin.  She pushed on my belly a few times to jostle him/her, but they just persisted with their napping. We did get to see him/her hiccup a few times, they were the most precious hiccups I've ever seen!
        It was a great appointment, and the Midwife says everything looks great, baby is doing well, my weight is just fine, and at 150 bpm the heartrate was right on track.
       Oh and did I mention DOUBLE DIGITS!! Whoohoo!

Belly Button In or Out: In

Cravings/Aversions: This baby is going to be born with a Sombrero...

Symptoms: Still back pain. It hurts to lay on my back, and it takes me forever to turn over to get off of it.  Also, the girls are not happy lately.  They ache and are SO sensitive right now. My friend EW remarked that they are the size of basketballs, thanks friend.... Lol.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Continuing to grow and change. I plan on telling work this week too, so that should be fun! Oh, and my GRANDPARENTS! They're going to be thrilled.  This baby is going to make for a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Things I Wish I Would Have Known: I wish I would've known that pregnancy could make you more susceptible to crap like allergies. I also wish I would have known that time was going to fly this quickly. It seems like we have so long to go, yet looking back on how far we've been, its flying by!

Knocked Up Week 8-9

Now that I've been KU for 9 weeks, lets see what's poppin:

How far along: 8-9wks

Total weight change: None

Maternity clothes: Still none. I went shopping at Macy's this past weekend but only tried on. Heidi Klum makes some adorable stuff that I think I will definatly be investing in!

Stretch Marks: No

Movement: Too early

Sleep: Things are a little out of control right now. I had about 2-3 days in a row where I woke up to go to the potty and ending up staying awake for hours. Not a cool feeling, especially when the alarm goes off.

Best Moment This Week: TELLING OUR FAMILY! Sugarbeet's mom was going out of town this weekend, and we weren't sure if we were going to see her on Sunday (our usual family night), so we went ahead and told her. I played the video we made and she watched it and freaked out the way any good mother would! It was great. Then that Sunday, we went to the park and met up with Sugarbeet's sister and brother in law. He led the prayer and then made the announcement. Everyone was super happy, and told us "about time"..Lol. It's wonderful not having this such a secret, and knowing that we have family praying for us to have continued health. I also enjoyed going maternity clothes shopping, spending some alone time with the baby on Saturday while we ran errands, and hanging out with Patrice and all of her babies!

Belly Button In or Out: In
Cravings/Aversions: Still in love with mexican food. Particulary beef tacos with corn tortillas. Can't get enough of them.
Symptoms: Lots of back pain lately. I think I'm going to have pretty bad nerve pain throughout this pregnancy. Its started already, so I can't imagine it will do anything but get worse.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Getting to tell more people! I think that I've popped already, but maybe I'm just being self-conscience. No one else can seem to see what I see, but I really do think that there is a difference!

Things I Wish I Would Have Known: I wish I would have known that heartburn was real. I also wish I would have known that water would cause it...lol.

Knocked Up Questionnaire Week 7

So, how did week 7 of being KU go?

How far along: 7w

Total weight change: hmmm 2 or 3 lbs up?

Maternity clothes: Not yet. Bella Band has been my BFF, although we're technically frienemies since the darn thing rides up all the time! The issue isn't with my casual wear, it's all of my slacks that I wear for work. The band is great since work pants are normally those little slider/clip things and not buttons. I have two pairs of work slacks that are still going strong, but I have to unbutton when I sit at my desk :(. 

Stretch Marks: No

Movement: Too early

Sleep: Sleep was a major issue at 6 weeks, I never felt comfortable.  This week was much better, I didn't wake up as much, or maybe even at all, to use the bathroom in the middle of the night...wait, yes I did... Anywho, besides waking up feeling like I got hit by a train, sleep has been much better!

Best Moment This Week: I got to see a heartbeat!!! There was a little gummy bear in there with a heartbeat of 132 bpm.  More importantly, I got to hear a hearbeat, something that I never, ever, EVER could have dreamed of being real for me, not in a million years. Its still hard to believe that this is real, that it was MY baby I saw and heard on the screen. So surreal.

Belly Button In or Out: Still in... how do you answer this question if you have an outtie to begin with?

Cravings/Aversions: Aversions? Food, All of it. The sound of every food ever has been completely unappealing. I get SO hungry, think that something sounds good, and before I can get my wallet out, it sounds terrible again. I even lost the lust for my BFF, chocolate. Cruelty at it's best.   Cravings?  I ate a BLT for the first time in recorded history this week. Oh, and MEXICAN food!!!! Enchiladas, tacos, tortas, fajitas, all of it. Love love love the idea of mexican all the time. Except for when the aversions are in full swing that is!

Symptoms: I've been pretty green. I feel like the nausea dominates the first half of my day. Around 12 or so it lets up thankfully, and also I've had no vomiting, so I'm extremly thankful for that! I've had heartburn for the first time in my life, and have had some other wonderful pregnancy related gastrointestinal issues...leaving it at that. Lol.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Telling our family. 
 
Things I Wish I Would Have Known: I wish I would have realized sooner how swift this would all go. I know what you're thinking, I'm not even 2 months! But despite the day to day drag, things are moving right along, and I have to try to wrap my mind around this quicker than anticipated. There is so much that I want to do creatively, and trying to cram it in to less than 7 months will be a challenge.
I have such an issue with fear and I think that is causing the time shift. I don't want anything to go wrong, and that VERY real fear that something could go wrong has left me drained of emotion. To want something so badly, and get it, to just have it ripped away, is a pain that (luckily) few people experience. I don't want that to happen to me, but in the process of protecting myself, I'm excluding my baby. I'm pregnant, and despite any fears I may have, I am so, so, so very in love with this baby. So, I guess it's time that I walk the walk if I'm going to talk the talk.

How did I get here?!

It is the day before I'm 17 weeks (if you ask the midwives I am 17 weeks today) and I've decided that it is finally time I sat down and wrote, err typed, what happened 13 1/2 weeks ago:

     I was smack dab in the middle of the 2WW, a time where most people are pulling out their hair in anticipation while analyzing, over anlayzing, and re-analyzing every twinge, ache, pain, hiccup, burp, potty break, and skin anomaly. My 2ww left me hoping for it to be over, not to test, but to have a fresh cycle to start with and move forward. 
     I felt nothing this cycle. No tender boobs, no cramps, not implantation spotting, no tiredness, no increased urination, NOTHING. I just new that this was not my time, and that I would have to regroup for the next cycle; at some point I even stopped taking my vitamins too, I'm telling you, I just new this wasn't it!
     Previous to all of this, I got a test date from Fertility Friend of Feb 8, 2011. This date was a ray of hope since it is one of my BFF's birthdays. When this date popped up I saw it as good juju, and it elated me...initially. As the days ticked on, and I felt nothing, I resigned myself to not testing till 14dpo (versus starting at 12), and really just waiting on AF.
     Weeeell, there was a little hiccup in the plan. On Sunday Feb 6 (Super Bowl Sunday), Sugarbeet decided he needed a haircut. I took him to the mall where he gets it done, and got to thinking after I dropped him off. You see, I like to test in private, I don't want SB to have any idea what's going on because I like to have that the to myself to digest and process the results, whatever they may be. I realized that there would be no other time for me to get a test without him knowing by Tuesday, so I decided to run out to the store while he was getting his ears raised. I picked up a 2 pack of FRERs and hid them in my enormous purse for later.
     Meanwhile, I start having terrible cramps, so bad I think I ended up taking something for them.  Those cramps combined with the fact that I had a big temp dip that morning left me pretty resolute that I would be on to the next cycle before Tuesday... Fast forward to later that afternoon at home, I'm laying on the couch by myself since SB is next door playing video games with our baller neighbor.  I sit there and I lay there, and I sit back up, and I change the stations on the tv and I pet my dog, and I try and I try and I try to distract my self, but those doggon sticks are CALLING MY NAME. What was I thinking? How did I believe for a second that I would have the self control to not use them once I had them in my possession.  I shuffle around for a little while longer, but finally I give in.


Positive. Super positive. Positive before the control line develops. Positive before the liquid moves all the way across the test screen.

Whoa.