Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My super awesome bread
Monday, January 25, 2010
Worst. Morning. EVER.
In my dream I was just back from a long space mission. It's the type of mission where they put you in suspended animation in order for you to edure the long trip on a massive space ship. I get back to Earth, undock, and sit through a boring debrief in a huge auditorium with hundreds of other people (including Cedric Yarbrough and Niecy Nash, the black people from Reno 911) . We finish, and I leave to go home. I arrive to find a girl friend of mine, and my ex boyfriend waiting on me. My ex boyfriend who happens to be Gerard Butler...
So, we all go inside, and my dear friend excuses herself to walk my dog, leaving Gerrard and I alone. Okay, time for some quick background: you see, in my dream he was totally stalking me, refusing to stop popping up all the time. In fact, right before I left on my intergalatic journey, he would sit across the street from my apartment and look in at me and smile creepily but in a extremly sexy way...you know, sexy creepy? So yeah, he's refusing to move on, and refusing to let me move on, and I'm thinking, "what is he doing here anyway?"
I realize he's moved out of the living area into my bedroom, which is prime stalker territory, so I go there to see what damage has been done. I walk in to see him holding a piece of paper, obviously he's been going through my things. "Isn't it illegal to do this where you're from?", he says. I quickly snatch the paper out of his hand to see it's my medical repeort, I glance to where his finger was taping to see it's my weight. Apparently the part of society I have chosen to live in has strict physical standards (think Gatica, never heard of it? Shame on you!), and this report featured that I had gained 15 lbs. I rebuff and tell him to stop going throughmy things. He responds with a delightfully rough grab to my hip and says "So if you're not upset about the weight, it must be cause you want to put this (he shakes the hand full of hip) on me". I immediatly go rigid, all of my muscles tense and I draw in a long ragged breath. I know that in an instant he's going to pull me in close. He's wearing a leather jacket with big yellow/gold zippers, and I know that jacket pressing against me is going to hurt in such a good way when he crushes me against him. I know that this is wrong, that I shouldn't even have him in my house, but that's what makes me want it even more. And hey, I was just on an intergalatic space journey, a womans got needs!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
What I accomplished on the looong weekend list
I did in fact make it home from work, I did in fact play Fable. While I did drink vodka, Earl was going to a birthday party, so I was left up to my own devices. You know what that means, vodka and Fable until 2 in the morning!!
Saturday
Woke up, got dressed, and headed to the nearest Half Priced Books (the one in West U). No luck, not even a book on bread baking without a machine :(. So, onward to find a Good Will. I drove down Richmond away from the Galleria, ended up past the beltway, of course I find out later that the Good Will is on Westheimer... Any way, since I'm past the beltway, I stop at the half priced books in Royal Oaks. They have a $3 book on bread baking. I'm tempted, but decide to first thumb through the new book I wanted before I make a decision.
I head to the nearest Borders (full of disdain at myself for not printing out a 33% off coupon that I have) and find out that they are closing that location. I find the book I want right away, 40% off due to the store closing. Should I pass this up for the more environmentally responsible book? After 30 minutes the answer was a clear yes. I can always go back and get this book, it's still in print, and I get coupons to Borders once a week.
So I go back to Half Priced Books and purchase my treasure which used to be someone elses trash. I feel much better about the purchase. I'm reusing something instead of buying something new. And while it's not as flashy,thick, or table-ladden (seriously, that book had so many charts you needed a chart to find your chart), it's used. The copyright is from 76, I believe. How great would it feel to know that something you wrote to help people made it into someones hands this many years later?! So, I brought something into my home that I really feel good about vs. the newest thing. I feel great about which one I chose!
OKAY, so yes then dinner at PF Changs Royal Oaks, kareoke at Spotlight where I met Patrice and Ayanna, sang a few songs (really just background danced) and home to sleep!
Sunday
Woke up, went to church, and JOINED THE CHURCH!!!!! I am so thrilled to now have an official church home. It only took 4 years! Lol. We signed our commitment card, lit a candle, and smiled smiled smiled. SO excited! We then had a nice quiet lunch at Whataburger lol, and went home for my Sunday afternoon nap. Looking for me around 2 o'clock on Sundays? Check my couch.
I woke up, worked on PP's blanket and then we went to family night. I finished stitching the blanket while at fam night, so now all I have to do is crochet a border around it, and I'm done! I spent qt (quality time) with all the neices, the future father in law, and my sweet SIL,BIL, and MIL. While I did drink, it wasn't fun, why you ask? Everyone was sleepy, so nobody got too festive. THE ONE NIGHT I CAN PARTAKE? Really? I didn't even want to have the coffee I was so disappointed. LOL.
Monday
I went to the store for the week, and also picked up my ingredients for bread, and I BAKED MY FIRST LOAF OF BREAD!!!! It came out delicious! Too crusty for sandwich bread, but so yummy. I can now cross bread off the list of things I have to buy from the store that I don't want to. I'm campaining to stay completly out of the center of the store and only shop the perimeter where the real foods are. Anything that can be puchased on a shelf, that is not in a jar, is not a good idea, and bread was one of those things I still had to get from there. No longer!
I used a local organic stone ground whole wheat along with traditional AP (all purpose) flour, and local honey to make a healthy, HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) free bread. I spoke with my eco-nut internet buddies and have a remedy for the over crustiness which I will attempt to fix on my next batch.
I uploaded my 365 and then went to bed at quite the reasonable hour, with a great attitude, ready for the next 4 days.
All in all? I'd say this weekend was a success!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Weekend Plans
- Go home from work
- Drink vodka
- Play Fable
- Enjoy an empty home
- Hang with Neighbor Earl in the breezeway ( if he's home)
- Possibly stay up waaaay too late watching a movie with Neighbor Earl( if he's home)
Saturday:
- Go to book store (half priced books, don't buy new stuff when you don't have to, less waste!)
- Go to Goodwill to look for sewing machine (once again, makes no sence to buy new)
- Do my hair? That takes all day so we'll see
- Lunch with Sugarbeet
- Cousin's 30th birthday at P.F. Chang's
- Kareoke? at Spot Light and cocktails
- Give Sugarbeet a hug
Sunday:
- GO TO CHURCH!!!!
- Go to lunch someplace quiet with Sugar McBeetius
- Take a nap
- Work on PP's blanket (possibly finish PP's blanket?)
- Go to Family Night
- Drink at family night (I never get to due to work the next day, but I'm off!)
- Go to bed unreasonbly late..
Monday:
- DON'T GO TO WORK!!!!!!!!!
- Wake up unreasonably late
- If Saturday goes well, make some bread
- Lay around and watch stuff about babies
- Possibly go to Erica's to see her new hampters. (she's got 5)
- Take all the pictures off my camara for 365 and post
- Post pictures from Dallas
- Go to bed earlier than usual with a positive attitude, a smile, and ready to get another week started!
That's it! Knowing me, there will be some write ins, but hopefully some of the stuff I really want to do (such as my bread book) will definatly get done. Oh, and hopefully the Kitchen, Bathroom, and Vacuum fairy will visit me at some point.
My Glam Hair Idol
And I guess it doesn't hurt that I LOVE this song
But yeah, the hair is fly! I can't wait till I can rock mine! *grow hair grow*
Ida Corr remix with Fredie LeGrande "Let Me Think About It"
Thursday, January 14, 2010
List of things I want to do
- Bake bread
- Stop eating veggies from the grocery store FOREVER
- Figure out how to eat organic meats on our budget
- Murder whomever invinted indoor workouts
- Make resuable snack bags
- Do better on 365
- Plan trip to Frio, in Leakey with the homomies
- GO TO CHURCH (haven't been yet this year)
- Finish the blanket I'm crocheting for baby PP
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Sew what!
I've looked on craigs list but there are so few and all are pretty expensive. I'm definatly moving forword in the greening of my lifestyle, so buying a brand new one is out of the question. Hmmm, maybe I should check good will?
Oh, and speaking of greening, I was soooo incredibly tempted to check out this hyperlink on the cleaning website I subscribe to for these reusable shopping bags, and then I remembered that I have bags, not cute ones...not even matching ones, but functional bags. I tried to mentally place where in my house I would store the ones I have currently if I got new ones, but of course I came up empty.
Sew yeah, I need a machine. I keep coming across these super easy, super cute things I want to make. The most recent being a reusable cloth snack bag. It's sounds weird, but OMG is it cute! Much cuter than a plain clear ziplock bag, and totally reusable, PLUS she used an pillow case that she said had a pen stain on it so she didn't want to use it anymore so she even mixed in some repurposing. Although EXTREMLY skeptical at first, once I saw the finished product and how impossibly adorable it was, thoughts of me being the subject of office envy at lunch time (yeah right, I never eat lunch with anyone :P), ran through my head and I decided I had to have one. I guess cheses and liquids are out, but she has a picture at the end of her instructions with some Weat Thins in it. I'm in love!
Secret Pie Shoppe: Green Craft: Cloth Snack Bag
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
First Meditation on SIMPLE
I'm finally back in the swing of things after my first flight this past weekend. I took one and a half benedryl plus a beer, 3 vodka shots, and two vodka sodas (only 70calories makes this my cocktail of choice), so by the time I got on the plane I was kinda in the zone. Lol. It was much better than I thought, you kinda just sit in there...no fuss no muss. The trip was party party, so this Monday when I set me feet on the floor at 7:20 (I know that's late, but that's why I live so close to work!), my knees almost buckled. SO TIRED. So, to keep me going I decided it's time to mull over my first definition of Simple.
Out of all of them, I think this is probably my favorite. "Being composed of only one thing"...sounds good to me. People like to do surveys where they say "Use one word to say what you think about me"; I think we all like the idea of being boiled down to this one word that encircles an entire facet of our lives as seen through the eyes of our friends. Most people get a list of words (if they have more than one friend..), and I think that it would be really interesting if the next step was to take a poll and narrow that list down to one word. One word to describe your entire representment to the world around you. I quickly have decided that I would want that word to be "kind" for me, but I imagine that it would be a little tougher for most people to whittle themselves down to one adjetive.
We love to be so much more complicated, to have so many facets, but I personally think the old adage holds water for people who spread themselves too thin: "it can do a lot of things, but not a lot of things well". Since we're people, not mulitfunctional tools, we have the ability to have the midas touch, but I think that when an attempt at too much occurs, too little gets done, and even less done properly...
All of this was to say, what do I want to do? How do I want to focus my energy so that what I do, I do well? What one element do I want to be made out of?
Simplicity of personality is for most a put down. "Hey what do you think of me?", "Oh, I think you're simple....". That doesn't sound too hot. Simple people are retarded, or plain (which means ugly), or poor. I don't think people want to be considered any of those. Complexity of personality or character is something that is prided. It's synomous with flexible, knowledgable, worldly. But why does that matter? Why not have a focus thats narrower?
I don't know, it's a constant battle in my opinion between head and heart. Head matters are complex, heart matters are not. When I get hurt (heart), I have to rationalize (head) that I am being hypersensitive and get over it. It took two seconds to hurt my heart, but it would probably take days for my head to fight it back down. It's that way with all matters in my opinion, with the heart being the fastest lithmus test to a situation, and the head showing up late and still being rude enough to jocky for top position.
Being composed of one thing . It's an interesting concept, the idea that I can boil myself down to one thing. I like "kind", it's a heart thing, a simple thing, an adjetive that is so plain that it doesn't even seem to elicit strong emotions when used. It's sort of like being just good enough, "I wouldn't call her altruistic or beneficent, just kind." lol. Sounds simple to me!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Word of the Year
one little word
A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow.
Last year I began a tradition of chosing one word for myself each January - a word that I can focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life. Last year my word was something I wanted to bring into my life in a more tangible way. My word was play.
I thought a lot about play and what it means to me. I tried to incorporate it more into my everyday and on my adventures out in the crazy world. For me, it was a lot about living without fear - about being more open to experiences with an attitude of playfulness.
This concept was originaly for scrapbooking, but seems like something revelant to try to do in all aspects of your life. So I thought, WHY NOT?! I prayed over it for like 5 seconds, and discoverd what I plan on spending a lot of brain cells on in 2010 *drum roll please*:
simple
I thought about simplicity, simplify, or simplness, but not one of those was simple enough. I want to get down to the root, underneath all of the flourishing language, and have the word in it's most pungent of forms, S I M P L E. I looked for a definition and got this list:
Definitions of 'simple'
The American Heritage® Dictionary - (17 definitions)
[Middle English, from Old French, from Latin simplus, and from simplex; see simplex.]
(adjective: -pler, -plest.)
1. Having or composed of only one thing, element, or part. See synonyms at pure
2. Not involved or complicated; easy: a simple task. See synonyms at easy
3. Being without additions or modifications; mere: a simple “yes” or “no.”4. Having little or no ornamentation; not embellished or adorned: a simple dress.
5. Not elaborate, elegant, or luxurious. See synonyms at plain
6. Unassuming or unpretentious; not affected.
7. a.Having or manifesting little sense or intelligence.
b.Uneducated; ignorant.
c.Unworldly or unsophisticated. See synonyms at naive
8. Not guileful or deceitful; sincere.
9. Humble or lowly in condition or rank: a simple woodcutter.
10.Ordinary or common: a simple head cold.
11. a.Being a fundamental or rudimentary element; basic.
b.Not important or significant; trivial.
12. Biology Having no divisions or branches; not compound: a simple leaf;
a simple eye or lens.
13. Music Being without figuration or elaboration: a simple tone.
(noun)
1.A single component of a complex, especially one that is unanalyzable.
2.A fool; a simpleton.
3.A person of humble birth or condition.
4.A medicinal plant or the medicine obtained from it.
I'm not so sure about that medicinal plant definition, but all of the rest of them REALLY speak to me. I think over the next year I will really dig in and explore each one of these definitions and what they mean for me. I have had this hole in me for so very long. It's been a constant battle to discover who exactly I am. I am 26 years old and have not a clue what I mean to myself. I am always on this journey of augmentation, and trying to be like others leaves this Leo feeling empty and ordinary. I see things that others do, attempt to emulate, FAIL miseraable, and I am left feeling even worse.
Well, I am so over it! I am finally starting to see the light, and I'm going towards it full speed. Simple to me, on the 7th of January, means that I will strip away all the excess, all the periphery, and get down to the flesh and bones that are Jonet.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
3 Kings Day!
I think i should spend the next 40 days REALLY thinking about what I should give up for lent. My heart (where Jesus lives) keeps screaming alcohol, but my brain is fighting really hard to tell it to shut up. Why on Earth did I decide that I needed to celebrate Lent anyway? Sheesh. Maybe in 40 days time I will find something else that would cause me suffering to give up. Maybe I should take up gambling or crack...surely that would be something any good Christian would be hard pressed to continue doing while abstaining from something as trivial as alcohol? Right?
Well, while I fight my wicked soul for domination, I will also be going to get a 3 kings cake for dinner tonight (I'm a great mulitasker, I know). I was going to make spaghetti and meatballs, but in honor of Epiphany, I think a jambalaya would make more sence.
I wonder what it was like to walk in to that barn and see the most important person ever born into the world laying there helpless, and to then be the first people on Earth to bow down and worship Him. Seems incredible.
Monday, January 4, 2010
End of the world
Its funny how quickly people forget, and how quickly people are swayed. Total death and destruction will rear it's ugly head again in 2012, not nearly as bad as Y2K in my opinion, but it still will. I wonder what alot of people will be doing then?
At any rate, now is the time to decide to be a better person by changing some things about myself. The problem is I struggle with this all year long, leaving me exasperated and jaded about resolutions. I make plans over and over again, just to fail over and over again, so resolution making seems like an old worn down notion that I can't seem to grasp.
Maybe it's time I resolved to resolve nothing. I will try to take what I have, no matter how much I want to "improve" it, and make it what I love. Maybe my resolution should be to enjoy enjoy enjoy each day. I want to focus on God's grace and beauty, and know that no matter how much I may toil to an end, God's work in me is infinatly better, and my work will never compare.
OUCH! That is so much easier to say than it is to do, it hurts sooooo bad, mentally and physically. It pains me to try to be still for once, but labor pain brings new birth, and that's what I am desperatly seeking more than anything else.
Y2K isn't such a bad concept. I need to end the world as I know it, let that old world fall away, and be born into a New World Order where God's hands guide and lead me instead of my own.