I'm in the process of starting to collect things needed for our Little Ones arrival, and in the process have begun to fully flesh out my inner hippie. I've made some choices that I think tend to be less than popular, but when it all boils down to it, there really is no way to please every one (insert "so just please God" at the end of this sentence, but that’s for another time).
That being said, here are some of the choices I've decided would be best for me, my baby, and the WORLD! Lol:
Minimal medical intervention (honestly, I'd like to show up to the hospital when ready to push)
Seeing midwives instead of Drs (cause I'm not sick)
Cloth diapering
Using cloth wipes
Utilizing items that can be found used instead of buying new (we have accomplished this one pretty well if I do say so myself)
Attempting to get as much clothing as possible second hand
Not giving into the over consumerism that is specifically marketed to naive and or fearful parents
Exclusively Breastfeeding
Most if not all of the choices above has caught me flack from every female member of society. "You can't do this, you won't have time for that, its just not practical". When I asked someone why they were being so negative they told me "I'm not being negative, I'm just being real. I don't want to sugar coat anything".
Makes me think. It makes me think why everyone is under the impression that cloth is so difficult, when they have never tried it. Makes me wonder why the amount of things I buy for the baby is equal to the amount I have actually prepared. I don't know how these time tested, mothering techniques became so taboo (actually I do, and if you know me, you know that I blame it on the "Women’s' Liberation"...lol, long story). At any rate, I think that what I would like to do for my child is return to a simpler, more time-tested way of rearing my LO. Women breastfed for centuries, cloth diapered just as long as well. Used soft clothes to wipe their babies bottoms, not paper sitting in a solution of chemicals, and made/recycled their own clothes for baby.
I think that a lot of the attitude I get comes from the "I got real, and then I got Luvs" phenomenon. If you're not familiar, the Luv's diaper brand has commercials that feature new moms who discuss how "in the beginning when baby was little, I'd only get the expensive diapers". There is a scene of a newborn baby laying so small and quietly in a crib, then that scene cuts to a toddler running around and throwing things. The baby-moon is OVER! Lol. Time to get some cheap diapers since that is what is practical and makes sense.
I think that a lot of new Moms go through this, and it changes you. You had all of these ideas of how things were going to be, how you were going to parent, the way everything would be perfect, with just a little work and patience....Then life starts, and its not the rosy picture that was originally envisioned. Never letting your baby cry turns out to be a harder task than you thought, or you end up with an infant that nurses every two hours for 45 minutes, oh, and cluster feeds in the evenings. Life gets real, and idealism goes out of the window. Then some new fresh faced mom who has NO idea what she is getting herself into shows up and says "I have the exact same ideas that you had!", and you say "Oh no, no no no, it doesn't work that way sister!".
I've seen it on different levels. The women who had natural birth say that it is possible to do that, but CDing or BFing is going to be an issue. The women that BF said, "oh well that wasn't too bad, but you're going to be begging for an epidural, and who want's to touch poop" (which by the way, I'm convinced you do anyway...).
Women are tending to show themselves critical of what they didn't do themselves, and I find that surprising. If you want to find somebody who's mind is completely closed to different choices than theirs, meet a mom. Its not a bad thing. We've learned how to rear our children this way since the dawn of time, (and personally I think that it is engrained in our nature). By us comparing ourselves against each other we learned how to employ time tested, mom tested techniques. It was how our species survived. If a mom was doing a terrible job, and didn't look at how another mom was doing a better one, her baby would die. We need community in order to be successful, but I think we also need a healthy dose of open mindedness to new ideas as well.
I often wonder how the first mom who stuck her baby in a sposie was greeted. Or the mom that gave her baby formula. I bet convention jeered her, and made her to feel like she was doing it wrong, that nobody did it that way, and that she would change her mind. Yet here we are with those things being the new convention.
The other thing that I think moms tend to do is feel as if we are competing. Whose baby holds their head up first, rolls over, sits up, sleeps through the night, walks, talks, feeds themselves, becomes a Noble Laureate. And not just that, but by me merely saying "Oh, no thanks for that diaper coupon, I don't really plan on using disposable diapers", I get this visceral reaction of another woman’s subconscious mind saying "What do you think, you're better than me? You have no clue, you don't even have a baby yet, you'll see". YIKES. 0.0
At any rate, all of this long rant of a post was to say that despite my unpopular choices, and no matter how many I stick to, how many I toss aside, or what new methods I adopt, I know that I will be loving and caring for my baby actively and daily with all that I have in me. Isn't that all that should count?
7 months ago
