Why Glee isn't real

Okay, so first of all, I don't get this whole vampire thing. I just read that the most popular baby names for this year are from that Twilight thing. Dracula and Count Chocula I think...

So anywho, Glee, while a PHENOMENAL show, is not real. I was in Show Choir in high school and therefore I am the authority on what an extracurricular singing group is, and is not. Glee, is not.

This is a Glee Club

This is NOT a Glee Club

© 2010 Fox Broadcasting Company

This is a choral director

This is NOT a choral director

© 2010 Fox Broadcasting Company

Okay though for real, high school students that didn't go to a performing arts high school, can not sing while doing backflips. Not possible. My choir couldn't even do a kick ball change while singing, we had to cut out that part of the coreography and just walk back and forth becuase our voice production and projection was so bad.

Also, there were NO attractive people. Seriously, all of us were ugly, all of us. There were no attractive outfits/costumes. We wore a $10 polo with our high schools initials on it, along with whatever kind of pant we had that could be passed as a "jean".

Kinda like this.

















Nothing like this.

And besides, all of the girls would have complained about how their skin tone/hair/personality/religion doesn't mesh well with gold/black/knee length/tulle. Why do you think choir dresses tend to be black and drapey? Equally unflattering on everyone that wears it.



© 2010 Fox Broadcasting Company



Another thing is, there is no way that my school would let Pregnant 16 yr old dance around on a stage in high heels. I don't even think Pregnant 16 yr old was allowed to go to school with regular, non ku kids. She would have to go to specail KU school were they learned about bottles or birth or placentas. Then after summer break she would show back up at regular kids school where everyone would whisper behind her back to the kids that didn't know about her body having a dual occupancy the year before.

And that ubiquitous band! Those kids hold a perpetual jam session that never seems to have trouble keeping up with the new hotness in music, but are also well steeped in the standards that we all know and love, from "Bust a Move" to "Rock and Roll All Night". I seriously need to hire these guys for my wedding.

Finally, and I know we all saw this coming, I have an issue with overly flamboyant out gay kid. There was NO gay kid at my school that was that out. There is no gay kid at ANY high school that is that out. Probably not even at the Gay High School for becoming Gay and being Gay All Over the Place. This kid cries every chance he gets, and enjoys wearing the most thrilling wordrobe since Bubble on AbFab.

There were gay kids at my school, we all knew who they were, they all knew who they were, but we all had the good taste to never discuss it. *hello, toungue in cheek..don't forget the sarcasm!* Then, the day after high school graduation freinds would call friends and say "Oh, I saw Boy with a boy at the mall holding hands!" And everyone would be like, oh, we thought so... I went to the FBLA banquet with one of my most favoritest friends in high school ( who was and is a gay guy), and if he would have showed up in some crazy contraption of an outfit, we both would have been in it deep. I mean seriously, there was a girl at my school who was told that if she showed up to prom in a suit with her girlfriend, she would be hauled off the premises. Nope, high school is definatly NOT about self expression. High school is about finding out who you are, and then learning very quckly how to hide and pretend you're just like everyone else.

We sang to peers who could give a crap less, we sang to old folks at homes and at banks and at malls. I want the episode where these 30 yr olds are subjected to the same things that we did in those days. I want to see them ride in a school bus and arrive at locations smelling of gasoline. I want them to take trips where everyone claims that so and so slept with so and so but everyone knows it's not true. I want them to pay a crap ton of money to go to a competition just to get there and see that everyone is like 6 yrs old and they'd obviosly been mistaken about what they read in the brochure. I want the awkward, AWKWARD hookups that we were forced to witness between pimple face loser and over weight loser this week, and over weight loser and looks like dead fish loser the next.

I guess that would be a reality show though...At any rate, I love Glee, I love watching it, and I will continue to  (if not just to point out the travesties that they are committing).