Shananaaaa

I've got growing pains. At least I hope it's growth. It seems so overwhelming sometimes, trying to be a better person. I dont mean to society, I meant to me! How do I maintain the lifestyle that I am oh so very envious of. I know God don't like envy, but sometimes, it can be hard to look at someone who seems to have it all together, and not want that for yourself. I think that personal growth is something super important, but how do you know yourself enough to know how to grow? How do I make sure my life isn't just one of imitation. How do I ensure that I am being me, and not just a whole bunch of other people crumily pieced together. You can't try to be like other people, God made us all unique for a reason. Try to be something you're not and you will fail everytime. But I don't want to feel like this is who I am sometimes. Sometimes I want to feel like I am capable of the amazing feats I see my friends perform, and with a little practice, I will be able to obtain that little bit of "growth" that I want.

I don't know, I'm just very meloncholy today after an aweful day at work yesterday. I will need to find my own peace, like I always do, but I wish the growth would come as fast as my acceptance of it not.