Swine Flu,Floods, Work, and other reasons never to leave the house

So I found out that WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE. Well, I knew we were all going to die, just not so soon. Here's a part of the memo Discover released:

"Following is a list of common sense reminders to help keep you, your family and your colleagues healthy:
Keep your hands clean by washing them thoroughly with soap and water or using an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
Use a tissue when you cough or sneeze.
Try to avoid close contact with sick people. Try not to touch surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus.
Keep cuts and scrapes clean and covered with a bandage.
Avoid sharing personal items.
Always follow your doctor's orders."

Hmmm, I think I might just follow some of this advice, especially not touching any surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. First on my no touchy list would have to be the fax, followed by the copier, and then the door I use to get into the office. Anyhow, I hope that the WHO doesn't uprade this outbreak from a 3 to a five. Five being a PANDEMIC!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH If you need me, I will be looting cause I dont want to spend my own money building a stock pile. However, I guess since no one has panicked just yet, it would still be stealing since I'd be the only one looting, which makes it not looting..right? You need a mob for that I think.

Then there was this aweful flooding yesterday and today. My poor neighborhood has had the water come and go twice in one day! Damon brought me to work today, which is good as I dont know about the capabilities of the 1998 Plymouth Breeze to withstand flood waters. Also the son of a beesting would cut on this morning. I need a new battery. I make a habit of not watching the news as all it really reports is the obituaries. I dont need to see how crappy someone else's life is to make me feel better about my own. Don't get me wrong, no matter how bad life is, my husband didn't get gunned down, or my house didn't catch on fire with my baby in it, but I don't need to hear about how that happened to someone else to remind me of that. All that to say, that I haven't been abreast of the flu situation, and I cut on the news for about 5 minutes this morning to make sure the flooding wasn't local so I could call in late. I think I might try to find out somemore about my impending doom today, wish me luck!

I've made a huge mistake

All Arrested Development fans know that one. You ever decide something is one way just to discover that you were completly wrong. Like very, very, very wrong?. My problem is I discovered that, but don't know what to do about it now. It's like that "oh crap" moment you have after you jump off something that was a little higher than you thought. You're already in the air, you didn't realize the severity of the situation till you got there, but there's no way out now. It's too late. And that's how I feel, I've made the realization, but what the crap can I do about it now?
I think the same senario continues to apply. All I can do now is hit the ground, yeah, it'll hurt, but only temporarily. I can get up, dust off, and try again, well, not try again, try not to again... Why does personal growth have to be so awefully painful. Why cant it happen naturally like learning to walk. No one tells a baby that their walking wrong, they know how to do it when the time is right. Oh, to be that lucky. To just magically know not only when the time is right, but what needs to be done at that moment. *sigh*

God save the baby seal!

So today is Earth Day, or whatever. Nobody gives out cards or anything so I don't know if it's a real celebration or not. At any rate, it got me thinking on my newest cause: Healthy eating! I've never been an unhealthy eater really. We didn't eat out much when I was growing up, meals were cooked at home, and we didnt really snack. Well, I didnt really snack, my little brother at the age of 9 could eat an ENTIRE package of Oreos in 2 hours. HA. Anyhow, it's not so much about what we're eating, but where what we're eating came from. Now all of a sudden I need organic, GMO free, unrefined, unprocessed, as close to the earth food as possible. I'm friggin looking for farmers markets to get local produce, and trying to figure out how to make a dollar out of 15 cents to stay within my budget. PHEW. I am pretty much sold out to the idea, I like the thought of chemical free, natural food going into my body, don't get me wrong, I enjoy an unnatrually large 24oz steak, but maybe not so much the genetically modified vegatables that come with it. I mean come on, what can a little bovine growth hormone really do?



Anyway, so I watched this documentary called the Future of Food, where I had my little world rocked, and has led me to really need to do some research on the topic (one day) to satisfy my new found curiosity. So according to these tree hugging hippies that made the doc, one major arguement for genetically modified grains and other plants was that we could increase their yeild, and use it to help feed starving nations. The hole they blew in that theory was that there is plenty of food produced here, that's why there are STILL government subsidies on various crops. With the price of the final product not being high enough to cover the farmers "cost", any econmics person could tell you that means there has to be a surplus. The high supply coupled with low demand means a low price, which the government then compensates for with the subsidy. WHAT!? So while they are overproducing and still getting paid for plants that are rotting in the fields, people get to go to bed hungry around the world. NICE.
It really makes you think what this whole genetic engineering crap is really about. I think from now on, I'll try to stay away from it. For now however, I'm off to go contribute to global warming by any means necessary. Happy Earth Day!!! (if you dont celebrate, I promise the earth wont know).

Babies, Babies everywhere and not a drop to drink

Everyone is pregnant. I bet if you're a girl and you're reading this, you're pregnant, your friend's pregnant, or you have a picture of an ultrasound somewhere amongst your friends profile pics on Facebook or Myspace. I know that this Friday, there will be two babies born from two friends of mine that don't know each other. Then there's the 5 to 8 that are all due between June and August. Not to mention my sister in law that is due in October, and another friend that is expecting in December.
Did I miss something? My coworker upon hearing this news replied "Did you all make a pact or something?". Well not me. Maybe everyone else? I'm not sure what to think about this whole baby deal,except that I dont want one. Not now. I think sometimes I'm shallow, I like drunken debauchery, I like parties, I like shopping, I LOVE sleeping, all these things I care about more than that unfertilized egg waiting on me to make a move. I like getting up and going, and while my husband doesnt have a spontaneous bone in his body, I do get to sometimes just take off to wherever. The one gray cloud that hangs over these type of get up and go trips: My dog. Who do I get to watch the dog? Oh wait, I can just give someone the key and have them stop by, and my neighbors are awesome and would look after her too. But my baby? That thing has to go somewhere right? Like I can't keep it at home by itself and have someone drop in I dont think...
I think this sounds pretty shallow. Why do I want to go out on Fridays and get wasted, go out on Saturdays and eat at expensive (or at least a) resteraunts followed by cocktails and possibly beer pong (get wasted?), and go to family night on Sunday as a form of recovery? I'm old enough to want more substancial things I figure. But I dont. I'm far more interested in purchasing things I want than thing I have to get. Most baby stuff is a true neccessity, but I'd rather get myself some shoes, or a necklace, maybe a handbag, or ooh, those cute jeans I saw..anyway, that's how I want to spend my money.
And don't get me started on the $64,000 and growing (thank you capitalized interest) that I owe in student loans that got me to this little desk job I have now. Already had one promotion, that was more lateral than anything right now, and am looking foward to at least one more before I leave here. Maternity leave right now seems like I can kiss any advancement good bye. Am I wrong for wanting more time to further my career?
So do I look like the 35 year old that can't get pregnant because she didn't make it a priority and now spends tons on fertility treatments and has had 5 miscarriages and is beginning to give up hope and looks at her closet full of fabulous clothes,nice car in the driveway of her expensive home and thinks to herself "I'd throw away all this for just the chance of having a baby"? I certainly hope not! I think there's a balance. I think that while now might not be the time, I don't plan on waiting till kingdom come. I dont find shoes, alcohol or dinner more important than my eggs, just more urgent? lol. I'm not sure when I plan on having a little one, I know that I'll never be financially ready, but luckily babies don't care how rich you are. I know that I might not be emotionally ready when it happens, but luckily babies heal all apprehensions due to their forgiving nature. I know for a fact I wont know all the answers, but luckily babies don't either so their easy to lie to. I sit here contemplating a little one, and it puts a smile on my face. Such beauty, such peace, and warmth. That's the way I feel when I think about it, like that something that I needed and was missing is finally here. Now if only I could be ready for it to be here.

Pieces of Me

Feeling Temporary. That sums up my morning today. I feel like I'm passing, like everything is moving around me, and I need to keep up. Have you ever had the overwhelming urge to improve yourself? To change something that you have always been hard on yourself about, and just want to get rid of or fix? Well, that's how I happen to feel about a LOT of stuff in my life. My messy apartment, my work out schedule, my eating habits. And I guess these are things that everyone seems to fret over, but I intend to do something about it, because I know people who have all this together. There's that super person out there that washes dishes EVERYDAY, and vacuums and sweeps on a schedule. They have time to work out, buy fresh produce, and save puppies and orphans.
It feels like you're trying to walk in mud., and the further you trudge in, the harder it gets, the more fatigued and worn down you are, and it's too late to turn around, yet there is so much more ahead of you. Pretty dire circumstances huh? LOL. Life isn't meant to be hard I think. I mean, thanks to the Fall, yeah, we will have to work and toil all the days of our life (thanks Eve), but there is more to life.
I had an epiphany as I was jogging about a month ago. I realized very all of a sudden, that there are enough hours in the day, you just have to know what to do with them. Sounded simple enough to me, I needed to find a plan to ration my hours in a way that all that need be done, get done. Like most plans, it makes a lot more sense on paper, than practice, but I think if I really work at this, I can have a break through!
Setting small goals was the first step, doing just a little everyday, and it's working so far, I already feel like less of a failure! I've also decided what is super important to me over what can wait till later, prioritization prevents me from being overloaded and overwhelmed. I try to do a bit everyday, sweep something, or pick up stuff, and little by little I think it's working.
I wish I knew the secret of the "each day brings my next opportunity to better myself" mentality, but I already spend so much time holding together the me that exists NOW to stop from it falling apart. Women have it so hard I think, and while I feel like some stuff is my duty, it still seems really unfair sometimes! I don't know what I'll do when babies show up, I am already juggling a bowling ball, flaming torch, and bunny, then someone is going to toss in a chainsaw, and I think things are going to get REAL very quickly...

The Girl You Love to Hate

THAT'S ME! I just read back on the three stellar enteries that I have and, boy am I not only evil and angry, but apparently very good at alientating myself from everyone I know! All I can do is say how I feel at the time, and if I come across as some kind of monster, maybe that's not so bad? Lol..
SO the main event is pretty nigh, there are only 8 weeks until the REAL fun begins! Two little babies will be here and I will lose my mind...WITH JOY! Ha, little different from the earlier blogs, huh?

I'm really having fun with not knowing what the sex of Patrice's baby is. I think that there are so few surprises left for us as adults, and seeing how much fun it has been to wait for her, I think I may do the same? As for baby Boston, he's going to be one lucky boy! He's got his nursury all set up and a mom that is defintatly nesting right now, never saw someone who wanted to clean so much!

I am currently preparing for the Baby Shower of the CENTURY, complete with ferris wheel and trained turkies...well, not so much.. BUT, I am uber interested in making this the classiest affair seen this side of the Mason Dixon. I am in awe of this whole process and wish to inspire awe in those attending the shindig. It's amazing how quickly your opinion can change over the course of a few months. I went from "what the crap?" to totally in love. I really do love the crap out of these babies (sweet huh?) and am caught a little off gaurd by the transformation. Patrice can't even breath around me without my urges to take a picture of that over ridding my sensibilites. I am under the impression that it can only get better and funner from here, and I cant wait to meet the little sources of said fun!

At the same time I have really enjoyed this time of watching the little one grow. It's stunning how that little zygot suddenly is a real live human being, kicking and wiggling, doing flips. Hilarious to me, sometimes painful for mom :(, but none the less a mircle in the making!

Cut-it-out (uncle Joey style)

I posted this in 2008. Read it again, or for the first time!


Top 10 Phrases to never utter aloud for ANY reason in my proximity:

10. Any lyrics from "I hope you dance"
If I want to sit it out I will, if I want to take crap for granted, I will

9. "Stop and smell the roses"
Why? I perfer something more exoctic, roses = omnipresent reminders of how
someone else has their life so together, they have time to garden...


8. "Every cloud has a silver lining"
SO not true. Crap happens and sometimes you have to learn to cope and deal and move on without something fantastic occuring to snap you out of it.


7. "They'll get theirs in the end"
100% BS. Some people never get theirs. Some people will do evil things to you and not only will they not care, they want ever feel bad about it or have anything momentous occur that Karma sends in retaliation. Try reading "Without Conscience".


6. "Sure they're rich, but are the truely happy?"
YES YES YES YES!!!!! They are unbelievably happy. Not just because they can
afford everything they want, but money doesn't grow on trees for a reason.
Stupid people would waste it, leading to an excess in consumption followed by the over harvesting and erradication of that species of tree... Of course their happy to be rich. When was the last time your hard work payed off and you weren't happy?


5. "Every time a door closes, a window opens"
Get out of that house that's on fire by waiting for the window to open if you
want, but I'm not going to sit around looking for the miricle. You have to take crap sometimes, and it sucks, but there is not always an escape ready to bail you out. You've gotta get yourself out!


4. "God helps those that help themselves"
If you can help yourself what do you need God for? Or are you helping Him
help you? I didnt realize you were so good that you and Jesus sit around
deciding what mircle to work next in your life, with your help of course.


3. "Good things come to those who wait"
Not be be confused with biding your tide, however, what are you waiting
around for? You want it, go get it!

2. "No, really I'm cool with black people, I (fill in the blank)"
Wrong answer. Just because I'm black, why do I care about the rag tag collection of black people you passed in the hall in high school and were "cool" enough with to wave at. I DONT CARE that one was your best friend or your uncle married one or that you lived in the ghetto, which by the way forces me to believe that you think the ghetto is comprised of black people. So what if you feel uncomfortable around me during certain conversations, it's cool. You're not Bill Clinton! I'm cool with that!

1. I'm not sure, give me some time and I'll find something bitter.